me: so Maya kicked over my last glass of wine. i wanted to punch her in the ear.
huny: oh noooo lol
me: son. she was prancing around me trying to get me to look at something on her phone, and just as i was about to tell her to watch the glass she kicked that shit over with the force and accuracy of 1000 ninjas.
huny: lmao oh no. red?
me: of course. that's the only type of wine that actually spills. it's like it has different laws of gravity.
huny: lol I know right. I take it it spilled on the carpet?
me: aka the red wine magnet.