…’cause there’s beauty in the breakdown.
There’s not enough melatonin, or seroquel, or wine on this planet to silence the white noise that blares in my head on a nightly basis. I would want nothing more than to know what it feels like to lay in my bed and drift off into a peaceful sleep without the sledgehammer of sleep aids. I stopped writing again. I’m not sure why. Sometimes I grow weary of hearing my thoughts echo as I...
moths to a flame...
Here’s some “Yeah, duh…” knowledge for ya: Beware of sociopaths. I know the word has a certain connotation, but when you really think about the profile of a sociopath, I’m sure one or two people come to mind. Some of these individuals are attracted to people who have that glow. A light that shines so bright it draws attention away from their darkness. They feed off...
me: ...she may have defriended me, though.
me: I rarely defriend people. I'm not on FB that often. And I never notice when ppl defriend me until I try to look one of them up.
Maya: Oh I defriend ppl. On their birthdays, too. Cuz that's when I notice them.
Look Here Man: Amanda Bynes Edition
hellandheartaches: Girrrl. Stop It. If that’s the case B-Rock (we cool like that) please travel back in time and fire the Dorm Monitor that caught me running up the hallway with a bottle of vodka in my pants while covered head to toe in Frooty-O’s because I was a “Cereal Killer” for Halloween. Fair is Fair. LMAOOOOO Patrice is a MESS.
it's weekends like these that make the thought of...
"a person can't be 'sweet and cool' if they are...
TRUTH from my wise friend, V. Love her. goodnight.
zaz: There are parrots in my mango tree.
me: Awwww. How cool!
zaz: It would be cooler if there were MANGOS in my mango tree.
"Doh get tie up..."
…the other day, that familiar Trinidadian phrase popped into my mind. I literally laughed out loud when it happened because it pretty much summed up the last 5 years of my life. I didn’t even realise that phrase had become my personal motto. A subliminal mantra. I’m working on finding that mystical balance between vulnerability and…whatever the hell you would call this...
doing the most...round 2.
another awesome weekend under my belt. out with the old. in with the new. that’s the motto. my spring/summer shopping is 40% complete. plans are brewing. i love escape routes. The Youngin’ has managed to win me over completely. Hilarious. I’m missing my siStars & bruhs. Can’t wait until July. This summer will be “The Summer of Honanigans” ©...
me: so Maya kicked over my last glass of wine. i wanted to punch her in the ear.
huny: oh noooo lol
me: son. she was prancing around me trying to get me to look at something on her phone, and just as i was about to tell her to watch the glass she kicked that shit over with the force and accuracy of 1000 ninjas.
huny: lmao oh no. red?
me: of course. that's the only type of wine that actually spills. it's like it has different laws of gravity.
huny: lol I know right. I take it it spilled on the carpet?
me: aka the red wine magnet.
re·lapse [v. ri-laps; n. ri-laps, ree-laps]
1. to fall or slip back into a former state, practice, etc.: to relapse into silence. 2. to fall back into illness after convalescence or apparent recovery. 3. to fall back into vice, wrongdoing, or error; backslide: to relapse into heresy. By definition, I had a relapse. There’s something about experiencing that kind of wicked pleasure that can be addicting. Something so wrong it...
today was awesome.
That’s all. :)
doing the most.
i have dope friends. my willingness to open up is increasing. i got another pair of awesome sandals. this polish on my toes is everything. i just had a glass of red wine. my family is ridiculous. dating isn’t as arduous as i thought it would be. cheers to the Englishman and the Youngin’. the rain today washed all the pollen off my car. fo’ free. new phone mañana. I...
i could be on the floor bleeding and i STILL...
i’m a work in progress… Sooo, how do you admit feeling hurt after adamantly denying it?
…there is something refreshing about encountering someone who is utterly enthralled by your presence. I’m willing to see where this goes.
"She smiles, I smile She walks, no she glides...
the opposite of love is not hate, it's...
these games are oh so wicked...
"i'll eat you up i love you so"
Okay, so I'm ready to admit it...
i like him. :) He’s new. And different. And exciting. He makes me laugh. He’s assertive. And cool. And even if this amounts to absolutely nothing, it is totally worth this feeling right now.
tons of thoughts...but none of them want free.
So i’ll just leave them be…for now.
i just realised today that i'm no longer recoiling...
someone is trying to break you out of your comfort zone… and you realise it’s starting to work.
Being an "adult"...
a minute = a second a day = a minute a week = a day a month = a week a year = a month I never seem to have enough time anymore. Every time I turn around another month has snuck past me and another year has slipped through my fingers and I feel as though I haven’t done the things I planned to do. Call a friend. Write on someone’s wall. Go out for drinks. Party…like I used to....
oh, hai April.
…in the comfort of warm arms and acceptance, I feel safe to admit that I’m really happy about the beginning of a new month. March was lovely, but it was also taxing and busy. I’m hoping April brings more resolution and tranquility. I want to spend my days basking in the instances of happiness and peace, rather than analysing every waking moment.
sometimes i wonder how it feels to have that much control over someone’s emotions.
everydayinsidejoke: i will treat you like a cold pool toes in first cautious testing let my body adjust let my skin warm you feel the chill dissipate come to terms with my condition… take a step back….. and dive in head first because hard things are best done all at once.
Oh, Joe Oliver...
He performed his role as best he could, what with receiving his lines so soon before showtime. I wonder how much he was paid… Round of applause to Robert Zimmerman for casting Oliver. Bravo.
the most (free write)
everydayinsidejoke: the most beautiful part of you is inside your head i want to get inside you i taste your synapses when i lick your skin i can feel nerve endings rub and neurons fire. i want to see your soft parts i want knowledge.. i want it carnal you breathe sex and exude intellect your words make my pores raise a conversation as foreplay an orgasmic theory le petite mort ad...
Lies have an uncanny ability to suck the liar in...
Being honest with others is one thing, but being honest with yourself can be excruciating.
everydayinsidejoke: he scares me he scares me because i’ve felt this before.. and its hurt every time.. because i’ve been shattered i’ve been broken and crushed things have been done to me which make me weep which rip my soul out with each tear i have been less of myself made my feelings more than me i have been a coward afraid to start over afraid of fresh beginnings satisfied...
1. to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress 2. to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc 3. to give up, abandon, or relinquish 4. to yield or resign (an office, privilege, etc.) in favor of another He asked me if I would surrender to him. Of course, my knee-jerk reaction was to tell him no. Absolutely...
I signed the petition for Trayvon Martin a while ago. And while the petition is helpful and shows how many people are supporting the cause, it still doesn’t bring the comfort and resolution that we all are looking for. The fact that a petition is even needed is the most frustrating part. A child was murdered. Why do I have to sign my name on something in order for this crime to be...
Trayvon Martin has been a lump in my throat for the past month. I can’t swallow it, nor can I effectively express myself. I just read and read and read and watch and read and read and listen and read and tear up and read and read and get angry and read and read and feel scared and read and read and feel helpless and hopeless and frustrated and heartbroken… i can’t stop reading.